Happy Birthday Benjamin!

My baby Benjamin is five years old today. Benjamin is my chocolate eyes, beautiful, Christmas miracle baby! I am so grateful for him. He has always been an easy child. He was born hearty and healthy, with the most big, beautiful brown eyes you have ever seen. He is incredibly smart, has a high emotional IQ, has great balance and coordination, and is just a pleasure of a child.

He has always been a symbol to me of God's love! Through the beautiful gift of Benjamin to our family, I learned that God is a God of miracles and a God of love. I saw firsthand God's ability to move mountains and change our world in a heartbeat. I had so longed for a baby. I knew we were supposed to have a baby at that time, but it wasn't happening. A Dec. 11th phonecall changed everything. My friend let me know of a pregnant Mom about to give birth. The baby was due on Christmas day. Getting together a lawyer, home study, a Dr. for birth mom within 10 days was quite amazing. And the grace with which it all fell into place was another testament that this was meant to be. We were there for his birth. The Dr. didn't want to be away on Christmas, so Benjamin was induced on December 21st. Birthmom was so beautiful, and so were our moments together at the hospital. A little fear; would this all really happen? Would she be willing to place this beautiful child in our family? I was especially nervous when we came to visit at the hospital and she had held him all night the night before. But she knew. She knew we were meant to be his parents. She wanted Benjamin to have a father in his life. She wanted him to be in a family with siblings. She wanted him to have opportunities she couldn't give him.

What a moment! What an incredible moment to learn about gifts of the Spirit, gifts from God, giving us something so beautiful, beyond ourselves. A true gift of love. The greatest gift of all. A baby. At Christmas!

Benjamin has always been such a gift! I love him so much and can't believe how he has grown. Next year he will start kindergarten. Wow, time flies so quickly! I love my Benjamin with all my heart! May he always know that he is the greatest gift I have ever received. My true Christmas miracle!

He is my fearless little boy. He loves to play with tools, disassemble things around the house, loves motorcycles already (which scares me), loves football, and sports! He also loves to go to great heights and climb high, do tricks, and has great upper-body strength for a little man. He loves his Daddy, especially. He has told us he always wants to live with us, even when he is a Daddy. He has already told us he gets to live in our basement with his Mommy (referring to his wife when he gets married). I am sure she will be thrilled:)

Heartwarming

This last week I had the chance to talk with Benj, Maddie, and Dylan's birthmom Jennie. Jennie said she had some Easter baskets for the kids and would love to give them to the kids. So, today, before going to my parents, we stopped in to spend some time with Jennie. It was so special, it really touched my heart. This woman has given us such an amazing blessing; these three beautiful babies. I am getting teary eyed just thinking about it now. What would I do if I hadn't met Jennie? What an incredible gift she has given me. How can you ever give someone the proper thanks for the gift of children.

To see the children with her was so heartwarming. I could tell it meant so much to Jennie, and it is great for the kids to spend some time with their birthmom. What precious moments. I have some incredible pictures, but will only share a couple---but what incredible memories for all involved. I don't know how to describe our relationship; but truly, it is a special gift from God. It was great to bring her an Easter basket filled with candy, pictures, and a C.D. of T.I. (music she wanted). She gave each child an Easter basket full of candy, and books, and stuffed animals. They even went outside and played a little soccer. SO CUTE. Looking at the pictures makes me a little emotional. Sweet moments of life.

Little Dilley

Little Dylan is two and is so darn cute! It's all about the brown eyes for me. Maybe because it was not a genetic possibility for our family! One of the blessings of adoption!



Dylan's brooding look which is going to draw in all the girls one day. Scared for that.

Happy Birthday Benjamin!

Benjamin is four years old today. Here are some highlights from this last year of our little Benjamin!








Our son Benjamin turns four years old today! I always get emotional on his birthday as his birth symbolizes so much to me. He was our greatest Christmas blessing and miracle all wrapped into one, from our Heavenly Father.

Benjamin:

The most beautiful big chocolate brown eyes I have ever seen.
Such an engaging smile.
Hard worker.
A finisher---he likes to complete and finish projects.
So smart. Brilliant.
Passionate about life. Whatever emotion he is feeling, it is 100%.
Very loving.
Social engaging, he can wrap everyone around his little finger.
Will tell you how he feels like a little adult. So cute.
He is a fast runner.
VERY strong.
An acrobat. Likes to climb up VERY high and scare me and likes to do twists and turns on the bars.
A great brother.
I am in love with this little boy and I am so grateful for him in our lives.

How Benjamin came into our family:

Four years ago was a time I was so deeply yearning for another baby to fill my arms. That longing was so strong. Only God, truly a God of miracles, could have fulfilled that longing for me. God can do amazing things that we as humans can only imagine!

At the time, we had two children, Brandon (4) and Ethan (2). I felt like there was supposed to be another baby in our family. This baby was not coming to us through conventional means. Brandon and I discussed adoption and felt good about adoption. We discussed adoption through LDS Family Services. Brandon did not feel good about adopting through LDS Family Services. I was feeling a bit frustrated as I knew that if we didn't apply and try for adoption, it probably was not going to happen. So, what to do?

Around Thanksgiving of that year, Brandon asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him that I wanted a baby. He smiled and said he wished he could give me a baby for Christmas.

The miracle began on December 10th of 2004, with my friend Sally leaving me a voicemail asking if I wanted to adopt a baby! All my friends knew of my longing for a baby. You should have seen my excitement and happiness at getting this call. I called Sally right away and found out the details.

We immediately made arrangements to meet with birthmom. I was SOOOOOOO nervous to meet her. I knew that she would be deciding whether we would measure up as good parents to her future baby. Can I tell you what a mess of nerves I was to meet with her? We tried to look our best, and brought pictures of our other children and from our life! Despite all our concerns and fears, the meeting went well. However, she did let us know of all her options at that time, she had been working with an adoption agency, but she hadn't liked the choices of adoptive parents she had been given. She told us many special things, that I hope I will always retain in my heart.

I can't tell you how bittersweet the adoption process can be. When you long for a child, you are so grateful for the chance to be a parent once again. However, with adoption, you can truly see the pain and difficulty that this decision can be for another human being. It is hard to see someone else making a great sacrifice which is hard, but yet at the same time, it is hard to not show your happiness and excitement at the amazing gift you are recieving. It is extremely hard to be "chill" during this type of experience.

We had much contact with birthmom over those ten days.I brought a ton of pictures for her to look at of our family, etc. She really just wanted to talk. We did. A lot over the next week. At the time we met her, she was in a restricted facility. 3days before she was to give birth, she was let out.

Little Benjamin was due on Christmas day. Mom hadn't had much prenatal care, and so we got her in with our Doctor. I will always be grateful for our Dr. and all he did to help things run smoothly, and with about 3 days notice. Truly a great man. That's what was so miraculous. Around Christmas time, within 10 days, we were spending lots of time with birthmom, had to hire a lawyer, find a Dr., get housing, food, clothing, and supplies for birthMom, and get a home study done! That is NOT an easy thing to accomplish in 10 days, especially during the holiday season. Another testament to the power of God. It ran so smoothly. Heavenly Father was making sure everything worked out!!! I am so grateful for God; a loving God, who does create so many miracles in our lives!

The birth of Benjamin on December 21st was beautiful. He was a big baby, born healthy and strong. So beautiful with his big brown eyes and curly hair. Jennie allowed us to be in the hospital room as she gave birth to precious little Benjamin. Jennie's Mom was also present. Jennie and I spent several hours discussing the name and chose his name together, with a little help from my husband Brandon. Together, we chose the perfect name to fit this perfect little boy.

How hard it is to refrain from all your excitement, and how hard are those tedious hours and minutes, as you wait to see if Mom will sign the papers! Will this baby really be yours? Will it really all work out?

I am telling you, there is nothing like the stress of wondering in the adoption process.

We were present for Benjamin's birth, but left the hospital late that night. When we returned early the next morning, we saw Benjamin sleeping with his birth Mom in bed. At that moment, I was a little worried she had changed her mind. Thankfully, she hadn't. She just wanted to have that special night with the baby before saying goodbye.

It was bittersweet to watch birth Mom give her baby to us and leave the hospital. It was painful. She told us she had a very good feeling about our family adopting Benjamin. She wanted us to adopt him, and wanted him to have a father. She wanted him to have opportunities that she had never had. Adoption is a gift of love and sacrifice.

We will be eternally grateful for birthmom's decision. I know it was incredibly difficult for her. I know she had other options. I am grateful that we were chosen to be his parents! This was a time when much faith was necessary for survival!

There is not a greater joy than I experienced that Christmas Eve. Returning home with a beautiful baby boy. My heart has never been more full of joy and gratitude! Talk about awe! Amazement in the miracle of God! I am here to testify that God does work mighty miracles.

I am grateful for all the sacrifices that many women go through; agonizing in a difficult situation. I can't even imagine how difficult it would be to go through this process on the other side. I will always be grateful and indebted for the blessings we have received!

I have such great respect and love for her for the beautiful gift of Benjamin. It reminds me a bit of the atonement. Someone giving you a gift you can never repay them for.

As most of you know, Benjamin was the beginning of many miracles. 10 1/2 months after Benjamin was born, Jennie gave birth to Madison. 12 months after that, Jennie gave birth to Dylan.

Truly Jennie has given us the greatest gifts. Three beautiful babies who bring such happiness and love into our lives. I am grateful for a God who creates miracles in our lives.

James 1:17: "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father..."

3 Nephi 14:7-11; Luke 11:13 : "Ask, and it shall be given unto you; seek, and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh, receiveth; and he that seeketh, findeth; and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, who, if his son ask bread, will give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father who is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?"

I thank Heavenly Father for the blessing of family he has given us. Happy Birthday Benjamin. We love you so much!

Happy 2nd Birthday Dylan!

Has it really been two years? Time just really flies by too quickly!

Here is the story of how precious little Dylan came into our family:

When Maddie was about six months old, we found out Jennie was pregnant again and we would have the opportunity to adopt once again. What a blessing! Dylan was born 8 days after Maddie's first birthday! What a crazy time, having 3 babies ages 1 and under---Benjamin was almost 2 years old!!! And having five children ages 6 and under! Man, we were going through the bottles, formula, diapers and wipes!!!

One of the best things about adoption, is watching the birth of your baby. When I had my first two babies, I was drugged up with anesthesia, and since you are on one end of the hospital bed, and your baby is coming out the other, you often don't get to see the beautiful process. It is so great to be in the "Dad" position and watch the birth of your babies. It was incredible to see Benjamin's birth, and also little Dylan's birth. By being on the other side, you gain such an appreciation for the amazing beauty and blessing of birth.

Dylan's birth day was a day of miracles and blessings. I remember being in the hospital, waiting for his birth. I stepped out to use the restroom---my timing is always impeccable. I returned from the restroom just in time to see Jennie being rushed down the hallway. There was a nurse straddling Jennie as another nurse was wheeling her as fast as she could---somewhere. I followed, running. Brandon was also following behind Jennie's hospital bed. Luckily, there happened to be a Dr. who was already scrubbed, getting ready for another birth, and just happened to be ready as Jennie was wheeled into the operating room.

I soon found out Jennie was about to have an Emergency C-section. Baby Dylan was in distress due to a Prolapsed Umbilical Cord. This can cut off blood flow and oxygen to the baby. So, the nurse, had her hand positioned to keep the umbilical cord inside (all the way up Jennie). A freaky sight!

Needless to say, it all went well, thanks to that nurse who made sure little Dylan's oxygen supply wasn't cut off, and thanks to a Dr. (not ours) who was ready in an emergency. He was so beautiful and perfect. Instant love. Is there anything more precious than a newborn baby? You can just feel the spirit of God when holding a baby; especially a newborn.

Brandon and I were standing outside the operating room looking in through the glass windows. We could see the C-section, and were also able to see Jennie's tubes being tied.

After Dylan's birth, he was on oxygen for a long time. It was heartbreaking to watch Jennie spending time with Dylan; she would come and hold him in the NICU. I believe Jennie's brother came to see little Dylan through the glass of the NICU. (Jennie's Mom was there all throughout Benjamin's birth, Jennie's younger sister came to see Maddie after her birth, and then her brother came to see Dylan after his birth.)

I am so grateful for our little Dylan. He is such a beautiful, sweet, loving little baby. He will always tell me, "I love you." If I cough or sneeze, he will always ask, "You OK, Mommy?" I will forever be grateful for Jennie for giving our family the greatest gifts of all. I am forever grateful for my little baby Dylan. Six months after his birth, we were able to legally adopt him and take him to the temple and have him sealed to our family. How beautiful to be in the temple with my husband and children and have that memory as a family!

To read about the dream I had prior to Dylan's birth, clickHERE. At that time, I thought we might name him Jonathan Thomas, until I found out that this name had a double meaning, which you can check outHERE.

Happy 3rd Birthday Madison!

I can't believe my sweet Madison is already 3 years old. Several things come to mind when I think of her birth. Most of you know by now (so you may want to skip this entry), but for those who don't, Maddie was adopted, as were her brothers Benjamin (10 1/2 months older) and Dylan (12 months younger)---from the same birth mom. I start getting teary thinking about it all----I was so wanting a baby in my arms, and it wasn't happening. Then through an amazing turn of events we met birthmom 10 days before Benjamin's birth. Then 10 1/2 months later, our little Maddie. What a flurry of events. Here is how it went down:

Right after we adopted Benjamin (the process takes 6 months in Utah), I had to drop off some mail for Jennie (birthmom) at her Mom's home. It was just starting to get dark, and I saw an image walking down the apartment stairs. I couldn't quite tell who it was, but I could tell it was coming from the Mom's apartment. I thought---could it be Jennie? Then as she turned to go down the second set of stairs, I saw the silhouette. I did a double-take. No, she couldn't be this pregnant this soon. No way. It was obvious she was probably about 5 months pregnant or more. I was in shock.

So, she saw me, we embraced, and began talking. She told me she had been meaning to call me, but she felt embarassed to be pregnant so soon after just having a baby. (In my mind, I was still in shock. I knew she had a boyfriend and thought they probably intended to keep the baby.) She asked me if I would want to adopt another baby. (This is where being a therapist came in handy. Even though inside my jaw was on the ground, I was able to be very calm and collected.) I told her absolutely, we would love to adopt again!

At the time, I didn't have my cell phone with me. Needless to say, it was a long ride home. What is the best way to tell your husband you are expecting a child soon? Luckily, Brandon was excited and happy about this opportunity when I told him about it.

It was our scariest adoption. Jennie didn't return any of my calls during most of September, which scared the daylights out of me---wondering if she had changed her mind, etc. (Thanks Shauna for getting me through that nightmare time---how many times did we drive by her trailer trying to see if she was still pregnant?)

Luckily, in October, things were back to normal---we got her into the Dr. who said a little girl was due at the end of November.

What a beautiful moment in my life, to know I would finally have my precious baby girl. Bittersweet too, as you watch someone go through the difficulty of giving up their baby.

On Nov. 5th, I had dropped off some groceries for Jennie and we talked for a while. Brandon and I went to run some errands. Well, that afternoon, we got a call from Jennie's boyfriend saying the baby had arrived. It was quite sudden, they didn't get to the hospital in time for the Dr. to deliver the baby. Also, Jennie's water had broken over 24 hours earlier than the birth, meaning Maddie was in NICU. There were some other issues and concerns. The doctors and nurses told us to expect her being in the hospital for at least 6 weeks. Talk about feeling trauma! And luckily (sarcasm) my husband Brandon had to leave for a conference 1st thing Monday morning. But before he left, he gave her a priesthood blessing of health before he left. Let's just say I have a strong testimony of the power of the priesthood because she was released from the hospital after just 7 days. I also will always be grateful to my parents. They watched the kids that week while I stayed at the hospital with little Maddie.

From the get-go, Maddie was such a beautiful, happy, content baby. I am so grateful for this little girl who has brought such joy and happiness into our lives. What would I do without my little Maddie????

As cheezy as it sounds, I know all our children were meant to be in our family. They may have gotten here in different ways----but God is a God of miracles, and he knows how to make these connections.

Maddie, I am so glad you came into my arms and into my life. You are truly one of my greatest blessings! Happy 3rd Birthday!!!

I Love You Like Crazy Cakes

This is a great book about a little baby girl, adopted from China. I bought this book a couple years ago (from Costco), and would read it to my babies. Well, I was at the library the other day, and guess what I saw? The video, "I love you like Crazy Cakes." Well, I put it in for the kids to watch today, and Benjamin was so excited as he recognized the words and illustrations in the book. Hearing the words aloud made me a little emotional. It truly is a beautiful book and reminds me of the gratitude I feel for my children and the incredible blessing of adoption. I will forever be grateful to the birth mother of my children for giving me the greatest gift. Anyway, you will definately have to check out this book or video! Fabulous!!!

In the book, they talk about the baby's beautiful brown eyes. Benjamin told me that the story is about him and his eyes. What a sweetheart.

(This entry was written several days ago, I decided I couldn't have more than 5 entries a day, so I just am storing them up. Girls, we need our blog storage, just like our food storage.)

Tough Questions

Don't you just love probing questions?

I had to laugh when my husband told me about this conversation he had with an acquaintance:
(This is not the first time we have had this type of conversation! The mood we are in at the time of the question definately determines our response!)

Acquaintance: Boy, she is very tan. Where does she get that from? (talking about Maddie)
Brandon: Her Dad. (This really confused Mr. Acquaintance, as Brandon is the Dad.)
Acquaintance: Were you adopted? (which makes no sense, but I guess this happens when you are tongue tied.)
Brandon : No, but she is.

So, what do you tell people when they ask about your children's brown eyes/skin that doesn't match your own?

1-They get their eyes/skin from the other parent (not currently present)
2-My children are adopted (true)
3-My children have 3 baby daddies (which happens to be true!)
4-They have a rare disease
5-Oh my gosh---they have brown eyes/skin?
6-Where did you get your (fill in the color) eyes/skin from?
7-God gave it to them
8-When a Mommy and Daddy love each other very much...................

Feel free to share what your response would be!

Brown-Eyed Girl!

Pictures of my brown-eyed baby girl! From the moment I saw her after she was born, I was in love! There is nothing like my Maddie! I just love her so much! I am so grateful for adoption---or I would have missed out on this sweet angel baby (and her brothers; which would have been tragic! I can't imagine our family without each and every one of my sweet babies!)

Such a sweet girl!

My funny baby!

She makes it hard to say no, until you hear her screech. Then, no comes really easy.

Loves to feed her dog sand!

The girl loves to play outside!!!